Post that made me Jealous…

 

Just like most of my friend I have been more frequent on the Social networking sites as compared to my frequency in India..

So this is about a post from my dear friend Doc (Clinton Cardozo “Pura Naam”) and then the series of thoughts……

The post was “ Time to lay rubber on the road again......4 riders confirmed...one more to go!” suggesting our friend gonna be on the Road Again… and yes I am not in the 4 riders confirmed list… Obviously there are lots of reasons for that…

Just when I read the post I thought ‘Ki sala Doc abhi to Road trip pe gaya tha?’ and remembered the pics uploaded by him which were really awesome. In turn poking my underlying dreams yet to be fulfilled.

And then I realised a bizzare fact of Human life..”Ke dost agar Bike le to bahut khushi hoti hai, par agar hume chodke bar bar long trip pe jaye to jalan hoti hai!!”

Back in Mumbai I have some of my samadukkhi friends who would definately understand this. We have 2 Pulsar, 1 Avenger and 1 Enfield TBTT but their movements are restricted to the city limits only. Although all of us want to go on a long bike trip but the plans didn't even make it to the discussion table.

Aur ab to Enfield TBTT ki situation to waqt hi batyega, cause our dear friend CSKBRR has more responsibilities now… Shaadi jo kar li hai….

Ab wo bhi apni nayi SX4 leke bahar jayega, par hamare saath nahi, bhabhiji ke saath…Family man u know…

But today when Rachit and I were chatting on Gtalk we have decided that as soon as anyone of us gets a Car we will definately go for a trip of our dreams.

And I am really looking forward for that trip, that too before we loose any more wickets ;)

Anatomy of Life

 

I have been thinking for a long time about life and have been analyzing things happening and things I have been through. The only thing i have understood is that life is very simple and its just that we make it too complicated. Everyone has problems and everyone has trouble. But the difference is how they handle them. How do one react to a problem or situation is a self decision. No one is responsible for anyone and that’s a fact. Its what we decide and choose, that’s what make our life and who we are.

We do have lots of bonding and relations, but those are natural or social, but the decision is up to us to obey or not. There can never be an compulsion for any one to hate or love some one. But still we flow with the wave and are troubled with liabilities.

I just think whether is it worth taking these liabilities just for the sake of social or personal obligations. If we don't want then its not worth honoring.  But most of the times we do defy these.

Is life just about social obligations, or is there anything for self. Is it not our life and should we not live it our way. No matter how bizarre it may be. But is not the persons choice to live it the way he/she likes it.

It is always forced on people to be complying on social obligations which eventually no one follows and these people are covering the non obedience in some or the other loop holes.

It is just that if we are too loud and clear about our non compliance of this conserved social circle, makes us wrong. But are we truly wrong in following our heart  and our inner self. This world is equally ours as it is for any one else. The rules, government, laws etc. are man made and are to an extent required for an smooth social society. But the rules made by the society are not binding unless your actions are affecting other people.

We have been born in a free and democratic country and we have the freedom to live our life freely. Is it not our right to decide things for our life and our well being. May be our decisions are wrong but our mistake is what will make us learn.

This anatomy is a part of my thoughts to the extent i can portray and will follow as i grow and learn.

May Be.

This was supposed to be an older post of what I will be posting next.. But May Be it was supposed to be an earlier one…

I try to make all the people around me happy, i wish so though. . Not that I always accomplish in that.. But that's my intentions… I am never happy if everyone around me is not happy… Knowing that I am being too hypothetical doesn't help.. I think that's what I am… But this won’t help.. I know..(But again improving perfection takes time.. well people would say who says you are perfect… But to judge a perfect person a perfect person is required..) well humor apart…am I doing exactly what I differ or is it my behavior or my nature…May Be I will know some day, May Be I will not.. May Be, May Be

But the thing is no matter what, I will always try to make everyone around me happy… that’s the least I can do in this world and I will continue doing that…

May Be I am right or May Be I am wrong……

Something I Liked…

ROOT THREE

 

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

 

Copyright of the Movie -“Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay”

And I skipped a beat….

Was talking to Rachit yesterday and got the news that Bhragav has met an accident.. Got worried but came to know that he was fine and nothing to worry about. Came to know it was not on Bike but in car so thought, Bhargav must have brushed a rick or Bus…. Then Rachit mailed me the car pic… I downloaded the pic and i skipped a beat… God the car is a complete wreck and the accident is a severe one… immediately called Bhargav to check if he is fine.. and when he revealed how and when it happened … i skipped a beat again.. he was on his way back from Airport with his Mom and sis…. I took me a while to get to my senses…. he informed that everyone is fine and no one was badly hurt… Was relieved to know that…Well thank god that everyone miraculously escaped unhurt…..

“To all my family and friends - Please drive and ride safe”

Driving through the By Lanes

 

Got my Nigerian driving license couple of weeks back but never tried to drive through the messy traffic of Lagos. Well yesterday night was my first introduction to the road being in the driving seat. Not ventured in to the so called Express way (i.e. highway as it is called in India) but was driving through the more complex network of road in the nearby localities.To be precise the lanes are not road but some sort of compressed layers of soil (Obviously compressed by vehicle movement) full of marsian craters. Driving a manual Toyota Hilux a 2.7Ltr Petrol monster. The biggest problem was driving a left hand drive manual vehicle as it causes a lot of conflict in the brain as anytime we need to shift the left hand moves in search of gear knob. Its more like riding an original Enfield for the first time. Well apart from this the public move around the road so casually that some time you believe that they might be invincible. To add to this are the Okada riders (Bike taxi as we have in Goa) who are Demigods and when on their Bikes they too become invincible. Fellow car drivers seems to be partially blind as they don't seem to notice any of the above and even the oncoming vehicle.

Well more or less the drive was good till i hit Traffic at a round about. No will let you go and nor will they go creating a web of entangled vehicle. Then starts the process of pushing the driving skills to limit. How well you can maneuver and get as close as possible to nearby vehicles without hitting them. Somehow i got out of the mess and managed to bring the Monster back home “scratch less”.

So henceforth if I say “i’ll call you back”, its probably because I am driving…

Untitled

I’ll let you go,

I’ll let you fly,

I’ll convenience my mind that we have to be apart,

But I still don’t know what am I gonna tell my heart.

It’s been months that you have gone,

It’s been months that your were near,

Still your distant voices is can hear,

I have convinced my mind that we are now apart,

But I still don’t know why I feel you in my heart.

It’s been an year that I let you go,

But I still smell your perfume in the breeze that flow,

I have nothing to say to my mind at all,

But i don’t understand why my heart still stalls

It’s been a lifetime that I let you fly,

The wind still blows on the riverside,

I still see the birds come and go,

My mind still enjoys the scenery as it used to be,

But why my heart still feels the warmth you used to be.

Now the days are near and I still seek peace,

I remember the words “Everything is in mind, nothing in the heart”,

My mind now tells me how stupid I was to listen to my heart,

But now I know, the day I let you go my heart too fell apart.

-ABI

PS: Yet to think of a good title for the poem.

Being Alone

Being Alone is not in the perspective of being alone in a place where you have your friends and family just a step away from you. I am talking about the feeling when you are really alone, no family no friends, leave aside a step but not even in the same time zone. its a weird feeling for a guy like me who has always been around friends and family. A 3BHK flat more than 2000 Sq. ft. totally air conditioned, but you are alone. No problems of food as cook is there to cook for you, washer man to do the laundry but still is the feeling of being alone. Well its when you realise that human beings are social animal.

 

The thoughts that run through your mind are endless. You think that this are the moments you need to enjoy you are alone, have fun, but you miss your friends, the nagging of your family. Its totally relative i guess, there are people who would want  to experience this and i was one of those before i experienced it. But as it is said grass is always greener on the other side. Its not complain or remorse that's taking over but the love and affection that's feels to be more stronger. Its feels now whom you care about and with whom you want to be.

 

Its good to be experiencing something like this as it makes you realise what exactly are your needs and wants. Its feels true to know that when you have things at your disposal you take them granted. But its when they are not, you realise the importance. Its too much philosophy but it has to be somewhat true if not 100%. Otherwise people wont be spending life studying that.

 

Its good for an experience and i feel that i am Homosapien and belong to the human tribe as i still got the trait that resemble to the community.

Lost

Lousy week with minimal work and lot of crap from people. That was expected but the lack of work and absence of Vasant sir, may be contributing to this feeling.

 

Weekend and no excitement as expected, couple of calls back to India and don't know what am i thinking, cant recollect much of it.

 

Sudden thought where am I, who am I, I am no longer the person as I used to know myself. I am lost.  Slow music in the background made me realise that this is true….

 

Aaina mujse meri paheli si surat mange
Mere apne meri hone ki nishani maange
Aaina mujse mari paheli si surat mange
Mein bhatakata hi raha dard ke viraane mein
Waqt likhta raha chere pe har pal ka hishab
Meri shorat meri diwangi ki nazar hui
Pi gayi may ki bolte meri geeto ki kitab
Aaj lauta hoon tu hasne ki ada bhool gaya
Yeh sahar bhoola muje mein bhi ishe bhool gaya
Mere apne meri hone ki nishani mange
Aaina mujse meri paheli surat mange
Mera fan phir muje bazaar mein le aaya hai
Yeh vo jagah ke jahan mero vafa bikate hain
Baap bikate hain aur lakhte jigar bikate hain
Kookh bikati hain dil bikate hain sar bikate hain
Is badalti hui duniya ka khuda koi nahin
Saste daamo pe yahan roz khuda bikate hain
Har kharidaar ko bazaar mein bikataa paya
Hum kya paayenge kisi ne yahaan kya paayaa
Mere aheshas mere phool kahin aur chale
Bol pujaa meri bachi kahin aur chale aur chale

 

and the track changes to….

 

Dil Dhuundhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din
Baithe rahe tasavvur-e-jaanaa.N kiye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Jaa.Do.n kii narm dhuup aur aa.Ngan me.n let kar
Aa.Nkho.n pe khii.nchakar tere aa.Nchal ke saae ko
Au.ndhe pa.De rahe kabhii karavat liye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Yaa garamiyo.n kii raat jo puravaaiyaa.N chale.n
Tha.ndii safed chaadaro.n pe jaage.n der tak
Taaro.n ko dekhate rahe.n chhat par pa.De hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Barfiilii sardiyo.n me.n kisii bhii pahaa.D par
Vaadii me.n guu.Njatii huii khaamoshiyaa.N sune.n
Aa.Nkho.n me.n bhiige bhiige se lamhe liye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...

 

Well these are simple songs, but that's the situation i am in now…… I always thought that life is how you take it. You want to be happy you can be no matter what. One has to look at the positive side. But the $&^%&& fact is no matter how you think, its made sure that you $#$@& kneel. I feel that all my simple ideologies are utter crap and I should give a damn about them. But i cant let them go as that the only thing left, that makes me what i am. I might never find my own self ever again  i guess, as i have lost it long back. What i think now is I don't even bother if this %$#% blog make sense, its what's it is. But i aint gonna give up so early.

 

If god exists and he is the one playing games… Then i just have to say….

 

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT…. I SAY BRING IT ON….

The Longest Journey

19.01.2010

 

 

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Got up early then i expected, or should  i confess that i did not had sound sleep… got up at 6.00AM…met a couple of people in the neighborhood and its 11.00. The vehicle has arrived.. Time to leave.. Visit to the temple had some curd and i am to start THE LONGEST JOURNEY… We have to pick up my Breda from Prakashganga… He is happy and concerned about my new assignment… I can see it in his eyes, he reminds me that it feels just few years back that he used to Carry me for my school… We are at the airport waiting for Vasant sir.. I am getting the instructions I am supposed to get. Abhijeet arrives to drop me as well.. in a few moments Vasant sir is there with his Father and Wife….

 

Time to leave now.. the atmosphere is very volatile.. I take blessings and hugs from my dears, and then suddenly there is emotional explosion by mummy. To add to the situation Madam (Vasant Sir’s wife) join my mother. Well we have to leave now.. Everyone is waiting for the last glimpse and we turn back, they wave at us so do we.. We move ahead and can see them still looking for us… Its hard to be in such a situation… We come back and bid our final good bye… the wind suddenly is heavier and my BP is definitely high…

 

Check in – security check and we are off to Delhi. Landed in Delhi, the Weather is just awesome. One of our earlier friend is there to receive us. Thanks to him we had a fun time in the Chills of Delhi. Rachit my dear friend came to see me off at Delhi airport managing time from his busy schedule in Delhi… Time to go towards an agonizing travel experience..

Check in – immigration - security check and we are in the waiting lounge. Checking out the Duty free shop and enjoying the view around… call for boarding at 2.15AM. And we are in the craft… 2.30AM we are scheduled to leave… The captain announces that the control tower has delayed the take off due to bad weather.. Nothing much to our surprise… and the wait starts.. I am asleep- I get up- have a look out of the window- no movement- we are still parked. 1hr, 2hr, 3hr…. we are finally cleared for take- off finally after 9hrs. of sitting in a stationery aircraft… we are served breakfast and then we are on a 4.30 Hrs flight to Addis Ababa (Ethiopia)…. we have already missed the connecting flight and are unaware of what lies ahead.

 

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We have to stay in Addis for 6 Hrs and we are to be transferred to a nearby transit hotel. We are tired, hungry and have lost track to time and date… Immigration check and we are in Ethiopia.. Reached hotel.. called everyone concerned as we are not traceable, and they were really concerned… Thought of taking a stroll outside the hotel.. Barely 10Ft away from the hotel we are greeted by an Ethiopian gentlemen “Namaste Namaste, how are you? I had a teacher in my school Mr.. Ravi Sharma he was from India, my sister is in Pune doing her engineering …..” He said he worked at the same hotel we were staying… he joined us for the stroll even though we displayed our reluctance to the same.. we were thinking why doesn’t he leaves us alone.. We decide to turn back and we thanked him and he is on his way… Socha bach gaye and discussed that its not necessary that every person around is intending to loot us..Just when we were to reach the hotel another person greets us ““Namaste Namaste, how are you? I had a teacher in my school Mr. XYZ he was from India, I Like Sharukh Khan and Blah Blah....”.. Thought lets go back to the safe house… and we returned… time to leave for airport… On arrival we are informed that we now have to travel to Lagos and then to Abuja…. Mar gaye… too tired to think about anything now… Lets board the plane.. And I am off to sleep for the rest of the journey…

 

Landed in Lagos… Immigration done and m out with the Heavy luggage I brought… Surprise… No one from Ethiopian Airline to assist… Authorities informed that we now have to take a cab to domestic airport… mar gay subha 5.30 ko kaun sala bahar jayega… I was soo tired that ghussa bhi nahi aa raha tha… thanks to a co passenger an Indian, social Service karne wala… Hamari bhi madad karne ke liye ready tha… He called a vehicle from his Lagos office and we got a ride… 6.15 we are at Domestic airport… Surprise flight for Abuja scheduled at 2.30 P.M. Baki log dusri flight ki ticket leke chale gay… Hum do Indians apna boriya bistar leke baithe the….Hungry, tired, sleepy, frustrated, disgusted and all other feeling at once.. Brought a sim at the airport called our M.D at 7.00A.M. Vehicle and manager on his way to help us… He books is us for 10.15 flight… and we are on our flight to ABUJA our final destination…… We land in an Hour… And I realized the Bus depot in the remotest location I can remember in India is Better than this Airport….

 

We are out and our Vehicle is waiting…. A Toyota Sequoia Love at first Sight…. We reach guest house and WE REST IN PEACE….

Happy New Year

31.12.2009


I got relieved... and i am going to Goa...will join Rachit, Clint and Bhargav.... Hoping to picked up in a Getz which eventually turned out be Santro... No regrets though.... Off to nowhere from the airport, Talks are on where to go for the New Year Celebration, North or South ... No decision yet "Are bhai koi to bolo" ... " Any where is ok" is the reply... WTF... "Bolo yaar jaldi" Rachit shouts... Finally decided lets go to south... Off we go... Dumped my luggage and went to colva beach... Lazy atmosphere, no feel of welcoming new year... Well we are again in Dharam Sankat ... Kya kare.... Its already 10 or something and North is Far far away...Whatever lets go... We managed to reach in an hour just to hit a pathetic traffic jam... God Bless the policemen for the parking help... Baga beach entire India on the beach... People dancing, eating sand and what not... Lets find a shack... all are either full, closed or alteast not up to our standards.... Finally mil gaya... Fat Hotel owner dancing ..... and the clock strucks 12.... HAPPY NEW YEAR... Few call to wish our near and dear once... A new year hug to friends and off we go..... I am damn hungry, so we drove in to Panjim... Well heaven doors (Dominos) are open and they are still serving... Its 4 Am and we are having Pizza.... Yummy.... Off to hotel and straight to bed.....


01.01.2010

Well i am in GOA and its a pleasent day to start the year.... Got ready and came down... Clint want to do shopping.. Rachit went on to give him company... Me and Silky have to go to Colva to collect his Licence in exchange of mine... We go to the parking... WTF the number plate is broken.. Some idiot bike hit it while taking out his bike... Cursing the owner... what made him make an Acrylic Number plate.... Calculations on what will be the damage.....Lets buy Fevi stick and try our luck.... Stopped on the way and Magic happens ... it will be hard for the owner to recognise the broken plate.... saved... Off to WARCA... Heaven on earth... have to go back to drop Clint and Bahrgav... Shey, we will miss the sunset... Droped Bhargav and Clint... Kept the car for one more day ( Offcourse it is expensive) as both Me and Rachit belonged to Super Rich Royal families in previous Birth....Sunset.... Chale Warca.... Milega ????Nahi milega???.... Chalte hain.... mil hi gaya.... Beautiful view and amazing camera..... Back to hotel and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

02.01.2010

Last day in Goa... will be goin back today.... Amazing drive to Paloulim.... horrible parking traffic.... Finally done.... Excellent beach and beauties.... lets go back we have to return the vehicle... Parking - Bang - Safari ... minor scratch no problems... Chalo jaldi Niklo... and we are at Colva... Inspector Savio on duty... Horn not funtioning, Number plate broken, Red scratch on the rear bumper - ye sab pata chala to .... Sala Paisa mangega..... saved, Inspector Savio ki nazrme sirf Wo scratch aya.... But its ok i guess.... We are at Madgoan Depot.... Bus ayi Hum Baithe.... And I see sun set.... Nothing is stable and no clear shot.... SNAP SNAP SNAP..... hoping to get a good one....

Journey back is something i would like to forget..... Horrible....

3.01.2010 .......4,5,6,....15.01.2010

Enjoying my days of freedom... No phone calls, mails etc from client.... Awaiting my ticket so i can fly down to the destnation most of the people think dangerous but i chose to test it myself... motivation from my close freinds added as a catalyst for my decision... well now as i have resigned and been relived no point thinking about Ifs and Buts... Lots of shopping to be done.... Kuch kar li kuch baki hai..... Dont know exactly how so many days passed away in a blink.... Tomorrow Tejas is leaving for Abuja.... Lets Check my BP.... Well its high.... may be anxiety...
Tejas's Place
Well he seemed to be in a void... Emotionless and lost.... Family and friends. Pehle to laga ki shaadi ke liye log aye hain....Chicken masala and Bhakri awesome.... Every one is eying Vasant Sir... emotional Aajii " Maza natu tumchya BHAROSHYAVAR pathvte ahe" ... Vasant Sir Zaped... What to say? ....Airport ... Round 2 ....Emotional Maa " Sir Maza Mulga tumchya BHAROSHYAVAR pathvat ahe" .... Vasant Sir shocked... Kya bolu kya nahi....a simple nod of acceptance is conveyed.... Meri hasi to rukh hi nahi rahi...

Finally Bye Tejas... Take care... friendly hug... Mixed reaction from Family and friends and he is gone.....

Back home and off to bed....

16.01.2010-17.01.2010

Monday ko Yellow fever appointment... Final Ticket aa gaya hain after lot of mara mari date fixed to 20.10.2010, 2.30 AM.... But the flight will be from Delhi... Good thing is at least i'll be able to meet Rachit....

Did nothing much but time pass.

18.01.2010.

Packing completed.... itna luggage kise leke jaunga..... " Arre beta apko thodi uthana hai , airport pe trollye mil jayegi aur waha to apko pick up karne log ane wale hain na".... ya correct...... i didnt knew this will not hold good for me...... Engineer se Hamal ban ne wala tha.....

Injection Mil gaya.... Yellow fever protected.... good kal jana hain na... Mumbai - Delhi booked...after noon 2.00P.M ki flight hai... That was a thought to avoid fog in the morning and evening.... Silly me...

Few thoughts ... will miss my family, my friends....going in to unknown... kaisa hoga pata nahi....
Then comes courage... jane do yaar waha jake dekh lenge... "ALL IZZZ WELL"

Off to bed.....