Lousy week with minimal work and lot of crap from people. That was expected but the lack of work and absence of Vasant sir, may be contributing to this feeling.
Weekend and no excitement as expected, couple of calls back to India and don't know what am i thinking, cant recollect much of it.
Sudden thought where am I, who am I, I am no longer the person as I used to know myself. I am lost. Slow music in the background made me realise that this is true….
Aaina mujse meri paheli si surat mange
Mere apne meri hone ki nishani maange
Aaina mujse mari paheli si surat mange
Mein bhatakata hi raha dard ke viraane mein
Waqt likhta raha chere pe har pal ka hishab
Meri shorat meri diwangi ki nazar hui
Pi gayi may ki bolte meri geeto ki kitab
Aaj lauta hoon tu hasne ki ada bhool gaya
Yeh sahar bhoola muje mein bhi ishe bhool gaya
Mere apne meri hone ki nishani mange
Aaina mujse meri paheli surat mange
Mera fan phir muje bazaar mein le aaya hai
Yeh vo jagah ke jahan mero vafa bikate hain
Baap bikate hain aur lakhte jigar bikate hain
Kookh bikati hain dil bikate hain sar bikate hain
Is badalti hui duniya ka khuda koi nahin
Saste daamo pe yahan roz khuda bikate hain
Har kharidaar ko bazaar mein bikataa paya
Hum kya paayenge kisi ne yahaan kya paayaa
Mere aheshas mere phool kahin aur chale
Bol pujaa meri bachi kahin aur chale aur chale
and the track changes to….
Dil Dhuundhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din
Baithe rahe tasavvur-e-jaanaa.N kiye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Jaa.Do.n kii narm dhuup aur aa.Ngan me.n let kar
Aa.Nkho.n pe khii.nchakar tere aa.Nchal ke saae ko
Au.ndhe pa.De rahe kabhii karavat liye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Yaa garamiyo.n kii raat jo puravaaiyaa.N chale.n
Tha.ndii safed chaadaro.n pe jaage.n der tak
Taaro.n ko dekhate rahe.n chhat par pa.De hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Barfiilii sardiyo.n me.n kisii bhii pahaa.D par
Vaadii me.n guu.Njatii huii khaamoshiyaa.N sune.n
Aa.Nkho.n me.n bhiige bhiige se lamhe liye hue
Dil Dhuu.ndhataa hai phir vahii furasat ke raat din...
Well these are simple songs, but that's the situation i am in now…… I always thought that life is how you take it. You want to be happy you can be no matter what. One has to look at the positive side. But the $&^%&& fact is no matter how you think, its made sure that you $#$@& kneel. I feel that all my simple ideologies are utter crap and I should give a damn about them. But i cant let them go as that the only thing left, that makes me what i am. I might never find my own self ever again i guess, as i have lost it long back. What i think now is I don't even bother if this %$#% blog make sense, its what's it is. But i aint gonna give up so early.
If god exists and he is the one playing games… Then i just have to say….
IS THAT ALL YOU GOT…. I SAY BRING IT ON….
